Are You Checking Out?

Are You Checking Out?

I do not like to feel uncomfortable feelings.  I don’t like it when I am sad, anxious, tired, well you get the picture.    I believe that is a growing problem in America.  We do not like to deal with uncomfortable feelings, so we binge eat, drink, take drugs, and even increase the pace of our life in order to not feel uncomfortable.  We are looking for ways to check out rather than deal with our feelings.

Another thing we tend to do is when I get to point A I will have a wonderful life.  Point A could be a number of things; losing weight, a better job, a significant other, or even relocating.  These are all noble goals; the problem is when we obtain them we are still the same person we were when we started.  This is most apparent in the diet industry.  Millions of dollars a year goes to the diet industry, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Nutri-system, or whatever fad seems to be working this week.  People lose a lot of weight.  They look great.  The problem is once they lose the weight they realize they still have the same issues inside to deal with.  Life did not transform them into a living fairytale because they reached their goal weight, typically when reality sets in most people find themselves knee deep in ice cream or some other comfort food.  

I know I have done the exact same thing zillions of times.  I am not ashamed to admit I have done every stupid diet on the planet to be at a “magical weight”.  I have spent enough money on diets to have traveled around the world at least 6 times.  I always thought when I reached that weight my life would be different.  My loved one would retire from saving America and we could live like a normal family, my kids would be healthy and happy, and I would finally be able to move back to GA or NC.  Guess what?  I lost weight and Lucas is still saving America, and probably will be until he dies.  My daughter still has rectal atresia.  My son will always struggle with being in the autistic spectrum.  I still felt anxious, worried and unsatisfied.  I lost the weight but I didn’t work on what is inside me.  The minute I felt those uncomfortable feelings, just like most of us, I was looking for anything to take them away.  In my case bring on the ice cream and the wine.  I needed to check out.  The diet industry does not tell us we need to change on the inside as well as the outside.  If they did, they wouldn’t make any money.  All the weight loss in the world will not change how you cope with life or fix what is out of balance. It never will.  

I’m not sure exactly when I got sick and tired of checking out.  I started to realize I was in my 40’s and life was passing me by because I so busy waiting for “stuff” to happen before I could have a good life.  I started to practice living “as if”.  Instead of waiting for all those things to happen that I thought would make my life better I began appreciating what I had.  I began to change what I could such as my career, my part in relationships, and how I took care of myself.  The things I could do nothing about I let go.  That last part about letting go was not easy.  It is a daily struggle.  It is a struggle worth doing.  I have found once I cease to resist in situations I cannot control life is more peaceful.  I looked at where my life was out of balance and took the necessary steps to put it back in balance. 

Before when I wanted to go knee deep into the cookie jar I would panic.  Now I use it as a way to ask myself what is out of balance.  Then I can figure out what I need to put things back into balance.  I might need a hug, nap, or just a few minutes quiet time.  If I do decide to eat that is okay too, because I am aware of it and not driving in my car shoving candy bars in my mouth.  I am sitting down consciously eating.  I am not checking out.  Funny thing happened I stopped over-eating.  I ate just enough and I was done. 

Diets are great for losing weight.  They are not the solution for living a well-balanced life.  Are you checking out?