The
Red Crayon
I believe everyone should carry a red crayon. It
would save a lot of unnecessary drama.
Say a person in your life continually dances on the line of
disrespect. We all have those types in
our life, they like to push the envelope, see how far they can push you before
you blow your top. A red crayon would
really help in that situation. No
drama. No unnecessary words. You just take out your red crayon and whack
them in the mouth with it. I am
kidding. Seriously, you could take your
red crayon to draw the line to indicate you have had enough. In a perfect world that would be great. In the real world life is not so easy.
We have all run across situations where we have
to deal with difficult people. A lot of
people choose to ignore them and allow them to continue with their meddling,
backstabbing, and disrespectful behavior.
Just let it roll off your back no matter what they do. Some of us respond to those people by being
rude back or giving them attitude. Then
there are those who try to ignore them – hope they just go away, leave you
alone.
I have tried all three tactics – rolling with it
just caused me to stuff my anger down.
Once you stuff anger down, it has to come out somewhere, typically we
take it out on our self. How many of you
have had someone do something that disrespected you and rather than say
something you let it go? I’m willing to
be bet once you were alone you were stuffing yourself with food or drinking
obscene amounts of alcohol. Who were you
really hurting? Not the offender. The same is true for the “ignore”
tactic. The “confront’ tactic has the
same result with a twist – you look like a crazy person who cannot control
their temper.
Have you ever thought of using the “red crayon”
tactic? I don’t mean taking out a red
crayon and really drawing a line. I mean
where you say to the person, “You have crossed my boundary. You are being disrespectful to me and I will
not allow you to treat me that way” It takes self-love to stand up for
yourself. Anyone can start yelling back
or acting just as rude as the offender. It
takes practice to calmly say, “No more” and stick with it.
Setting boundaries can be hard, when we allow
people to loosely bounce around our boundaries we are saying it is acceptable to
treat me in that manner. It is important
to keep in mind when setting a boundary you do not have to be rude, you just
have to be firm. Make sure the boundary
you set is clear. In my case I made it
clear I would not tolerate being treated less than an equal. I wanted to be treated just like everyone
else. I did not tell other people I felt
that way. I told the person to their
face to give them a chance to respond. Gossiping
and talking about the offender only makes the problem worse. It fuels drama. Most importantly remember when talking to the
person not to point fingers. You will
have an easier time setting a boundary by starting by saying, “I feel like this
… when you do that”
When you set your boundary be prepared for resistance
or the mob mentality. People do not like
to have their poor behavior pointed out to them. They may become defensive, call names, or
other immature behavior. You may be
surprised that some people do not even realize they are acting that way or that
you are taking it that way. No matter the outcome stick to your boundary. It may be difficult and people will try to
make you feel uncomfortable, in the long run your growing sense of
self-love/respect will be more than worth it.
