The Red Crayon

The Red Crayon

I believe everyone should carry a red crayon.   It would save a lot of unnecessary drama.  Say a person in your life continually dances on the line of disrespect.  We all have those types in our life, they like to push the envelope, see how far they can push you before you blow your top.  A red crayon would really help in that situation.  No drama.  No unnecessary words.  You just take out your red crayon and whack them in the mouth with it.  I am kidding.  Seriously, you could take your red crayon to draw the line to indicate you have had enough.  In a perfect world that would be great.  In the real world life is not so easy.  

We have all run across situations where we have to deal with difficult people.  A lot of people choose to ignore them and allow them to continue with their meddling, backstabbing, and disrespectful behavior.  Just let it roll off your back no matter what they do.  Some of us respond to those people by being rude back or giving them attitude.  Then there are those who try to ignore them – hope they just go away, leave you alone.

I have tried all three tactics – rolling with it just caused me to stuff my anger down.  Once you stuff anger down, it has to come out somewhere, typically we take it out on our self.  How many of you have had someone do something that disrespected you and rather than say something you let it go?  I’m willing to be bet once you were alone you were stuffing yourself with food or drinking obscene amounts of alcohol.  Who were you really hurting?  Not the offender.  The same is true for the “ignore” tactic.  The “confront’ tactic has the same result with a twist – you look like a crazy person who cannot control their temper.  

Have you ever thought of using the “red crayon” tactic?  I don’t mean taking out a red crayon and really drawing a line.  I mean where you say to the person, “You have crossed my boundary.  You are being disrespectful to me and I will not allow you to treat me that way” It takes self-love to stand up for yourself.  Anyone can start yelling back or acting just as rude as the offender.  It takes practice to calmly say, “No more” and stick with it.  

Setting boundaries can be hard, when we allow people to loosely bounce around our boundaries we are saying it is acceptable to treat me in that manner.  It is important to keep in mind when setting a boundary you do not have to be rude, you just have to be firm.  Make sure the boundary you set is clear.  In my case I made it clear I would not tolerate being treated less than an equal.  I wanted to be treated just like everyone else.  I did not tell other people I felt that way.  I told the person to their face to give them a chance to respond.  Gossiping and talking about the offender only makes the problem worse.  It fuels drama.  Most importantly remember when talking to the person not to point fingers.  You will have an easier time setting a boundary by starting by saying, “I feel like this … when you do that” 

When you set your boundary be prepared for resistance or the mob mentality.  People do not like to have their poor behavior pointed out to them.  They may become defensive, call names, or other immature behavior.  You may be surprised that some people do not even realize they are acting that way or that you are taking it that way. No matter the outcome stick to your boundary.  It may be difficult and people will try to make you feel uncomfortable, in the long run your growing sense of self-love/respect will be more than worth it.